Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I don't feel like rocking around the Christmas tree!

When the Holidays hurt… 
Ummm keep reading, even if you are the jolliest of the jolly!  :)

From Joy to the World, to Tis the season to be Jolly. This is the time of year represents such an amazing gift, and is beyond a doubt a time for celebration. When you get to see your family, (dysfunctional or not)! And why is it at your office party and there is free food, folks attack it like they haven’t eaten a good meal in days. You’d think they’d never seen a sugar cookie before. Even if it’s a potluck they pile their plate so high full of crap to make very sure that they get enough of the homemade goodies we brought probably with their cat walking on the table and without watching their hands to make sure they get enough before it runs out. I digress. Sorry I have some pretty horrible imprints on my mind of office parties. Anyway, case in point, it’s at least a solid month of lights and sparkles and songs and presents and bows and sometimes we have the pressure to walk around with a permanent smile glued to our face. Unless you don’t mind being an outright Scrooge! (But that is another blog, I don’t have time for outright Scrooges.)

Well, what if you don’t feel like celebrating? What if you don’t feel like Rockin’ around the Christmas tree?! I can remember in Christmases past, walking around smiling so hard my face hurt, caroling all around town, and spreading glitter everywhere! I just could not understand why some people hated the Holidays. How can someone be sad during Christmas? Why is that jerk hogging the bottle of wine and downing all the egg nog? ITS STOCKINGS FILLED WITH CANDY AND AWESOME STUFF YOU WANT WRAPPED UP UNDER A TREE! OR 8  DAYS IN A ROW OF GIFTS?!?! Umm, well, now I get it.

Since the point of the Holidays is to give, love and a huge part being with our family and loved ones…. What if they aren’t around?  It’s like this gaping whole that takes on a life of its own.  Whether a loved one who is associated with so many Christmas memories has either passed away or just isn’t around anymore, the simple truth is it hurts.  It hurts worse than it does any other time of the year.  I know what it feels like to not feel like celebrating.  Instead of stuffing my face full of yummy goodies and opening presents and spreading cheer… I know what it feels like to want to stay in my bed with the shades drawn watching ‘The Holiday’ and ‘Edward Scissorhands’ interchangeably.  Or my personal favorite, popping in a Shirley Temple movie and doing a shot of whiskey every time she breaks into song and dance. That’ll do it!

Well if that’s you, and you aren’t stoked about the Holidays or are dreading it it’s time to make a change and bring on the figgy pudding baby!!!  Now it’s not a sure fire shot but it is sure worth a try. :)

There are so many other people besides you that are hurting during the Holidays.  There are millions of people and I’m pretty sure some are right down the street that need some cheer too!  Nursing homes are the perfect place to visit.  There is always someone there who wants someone to talk to.  And believe me when I tell you the stories they have to share will most likely be hilarious.  Whether they intend for it to be or not.  It may sound cliché but go visit a homeless shelter.  If you haven’t, it will change your life forever.  Believe me!  You see those precious little faces that don’t even have a place to live…. No words can even describe it.  You don’t even have to take anything!  However if you do want to take something and you don’t have a lot of money to spend you can take cookies, a regift, or even something from the dollah store!  They will be so grateful. :)

Just remember there is always someone else who has it worse than you do.  Someone who is hurting far more.  So get your hiney out of the town of Sadville, Population 1 (that’s you) and go jingle yourself on down the street!  I promise you that the connections you make and just making one person smile will lift your spirits immensely.  It probably won’t be a total cure of your sadness, but believe me it will help!

I can attest to even recently not being excited about Christmas.  I had gotten out of a relationship.   Was bummed about friends I’d lost, and there are some family… um, issues going on! (LOL putting it mildly) and I actually felt sorry for myself.  I didn’t wanna put up the tree! Can you imagine?!?!!?!? Then I looked at my precious, gorgeous, beautiful, darling ANGEL of a babygirl, my amazing family, and the REAL friends that I have and I felt repulsed by my former thoughts.

Christmas, Hanukkah, ChristmasaKwanzaka are not only times to celebrate, but to continue to be thankful.  My precious Savior was born that day!  That sweet little baby Jesus didn’t even have a place to be born.  A nasty old barn, can you imagine! Poor Mary! :-/ Anyway, it may not have looked good then, but look what He accomplished for us.  So if you are hurting this season, it’s ok.  You aren’t the only one.  I promise you that it will get better.  But you have to want it to, and it’s not going to magically get better on it’s own.  So even though you don’t want to, you’re going to have yourself a MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS, I just know it! :)

  P.S.   Have you seen the episode of The Office where they go to the Asian Hooters aka Beniihana and Michael Scott brings back a couple of waitresses and marks one with a marker and gives her a bike that was supposed to go to Toys for Tots?!  LOLOLOL... Ok well you need to watch it, like ASAP.  It's complete awesomeness!  Oh, and you're welcome in advance!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Friend Fallout.....

So, the blog is BACK!!!!  :)  I've been writing in many other domains since last year.. But have decided to bring the blog back.  To do so, here is an article I recently wrote on a 'different' kind of breakup!  :)  Miss you all so very much!  MUAH!

Oh, the pain of a broken heart. They don’t call it heart ‘wrenching’ for nothing. The definition of wrenching from Merriam-Webster is ‘to pull or twist suddenly or violently’. Yep that sounds like it. I think that can be what makes it so difficult. The ‘suddenly or violently’ part. When heartbreak occurs suddenly, or when you least expect it, I believe the pain is far worse.

I wouldn’t call it a very far stretch to say every one of us has had a broken heart. When thinking of having a broken heart multiple times in my life, the first thing that comes to mind is a relationship with a significant other. Which is obviously the most common. There are countless songs, books, poems, and movies about the broken heart syndrome. However, there is a breakup that hurts just as much… The Friend Fallout.

How they differ is vast but small, and the pain isn’t much different. There are countless articles on getting over an ex, but how do you get over the dreaded Friend Fallout. It isn’t easy, but I’ve found a few things that can get you on the road to either mending fences, or being back on the road to healing a broken heart from the FF.

After you breakup from an ex, (or are dumped) we often can sit in his sweatshirt and eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s while watching movies like ‘The Breakup’ and listening to the Keith Urban song “Tonight I wanna Cry” on repeat. These two accompanied by browsing his Facebook page incessantly and stalking every chick who comments, and tearing her to shreds with your friends. In the event of a FF, the very friend who you would call to do this with, is not going to be there. Who do you call to comfort you? You can’t call your other friends in the circle, that won’t do any good because they will just tell her how miserable you are. And you don‘t want her to know you are pining over your lost friendship… or do you?

There are various stages of a FF. They can range from, a small tiff that which your friendship can recover from, or the more serious, Forever Friend Fallout. Also known as the FFF. FFF’s hurt. They hurt about as bad as you would feel if the E! Channel and the Bravo network ceased to exist tomorrow and you never EVER got an update on all of the programming you’ve spent years keeping up with. That mixed with Sephora, High Heels, Pink, and Sophie Kinsella novels being outlawed. ;)

The main difference is this. When you have a FF, even one that you see being a possible FFF… you can fix it. Or at least try to. Women understand other women. We are stubborn, but more sensitive. The disagreements between friends can be about all sorts of things. Hopefully you, (or her) didn’t cross the line into fighting over a man territory. But even if you did, it can be fixed. Be quick to say sorry, and quick to forgive. My old pal Jesus said that one, so I can’t take credit. It all comes down to love regardless of what kind of breakup you have. If you are in the wrong, try to figure out how it happened. And explain this. Write a letter, send some flowers, but don’t let a tiff with a friend you love turn into a FFF. Because forever friends, are hard to find. :)