Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Friend Fallout.....

So, the blog is BACK!!!!  :)  I've been writing in many other domains since last year.. But have decided to bring the blog back.  To do so, here is an article I recently wrote on a 'different' kind of breakup!  :)  Miss you all so very much!  MUAH!

Oh, the pain of a broken heart. They don’t call it heart ‘wrenching’ for nothing. The definition of wrenching from Merriam-Webster is ‘to pull or twist suddenly or violently’. Yep that sounds like it. I think that can be what makes it so difficult. The ‘suddenly or violently’ part. When heartbreak occurs suddenly, or when you least expect it, I believe the pain is far worse.

I wouldn’t call it a very far stretch to say every one of us has had a broken heart. When thinking of having a broken heart multiple times in my life, the first thing that comes to mind is a relationship with a significant other. Which is obviously the most common. There are countless songs, books, poems, and movies about the broken heart syndrome. However, there is a breakup that hurts just as much… The Friend Fallout.

How they differ is vast but small, and the pain isn’t much different. There are countless articles on getting over an ex, but how do you get over the dreaded Friend Fallout. It isn’t easy, but I’ve found a few things that can get you on the road to either mending fences, or being back on the road to healing a broken heart from the FF.

After you breakup from an ex, (or are dumped) we often can sit in his sweatshirt and eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s while watching movies like ‘The Breakup’ and listening to the Keith Urban song “Tonight I wanna Cry” on repeat. These two accompanied by browsing his Facebook page incessantly and stalking every chick who comments, and tearing her to shreds with your friends. In the event of a FF, the very friend who you would call to do this with, is not going to be there. Who do you call to comfort you? You can’t call your other friends in the circle, that won’t do any good because they will just tell her how miserable you are. And you don‘t want her to know you are pining over your lost friendship… or do you?

There are various stages of a FF. They can range from, a small tiff that which your friendship can recover from, or the more serious, Forever Friend Fallout. Also known as the FFF. FFF’s hurt. They hurt about as bad as you would feel if the E! Channel and the Bravo network ceased to exist tomorrow and you never EVER got an update on all of the programming you’ve spent years keeping up with. That mixed with Sephora, High Heels, Pink, and Sophie Kinsella novels being outlawed. ;)

The main difference is this. When you have a FF, even one that you see being a possible FFF… you can fix it. Or at least try to. Women understand other women. We are stubborn, but more sensitive. The disagreements between friends can be about all sorts of things. Hopefully you, (or her) didn’t cross the line into fighting over a man territory. But even if you did, it can be fixed. Be quick to say sorry, and quick to forgive. My old pal Jesus said that one, so I can’t take credit. It all comes down to love regardless of what kind of breakup you have. If you are in the wrong, try to figure out how it happened. And explain this. Write a letter, send some flowers, but don’t let a tiff with a friend you love turn into a FFF. Because forever friends, are hard to find. :)